Thursday, August 27, 2015

Who Am I?

Who you are is important.  Where you've been, where you are, where you're going.  All of those things matter.  Every life matters.

I started this blog for myself, so I don't believe that I ever really touched on who I am, other than the fact that I have endo.

My past isn't pretty, and I don't enjoy talking about it.  I feel like people think I'm looking for sympathy or support, when that's not what I want or need.  I just hope to make people see that they're not alone.  My past contains things like bullying, depression, self injury, sexual assault, getting laid off of two different jobs before the age of 24, bad relationships, and a whole lot of growing, learning, and discovering life's truths.

My present consists of a lot of change.  Just under 3 months ago, Justin and I moved to North Carolina.  We weren't running away, we weren't "starting over".  We made the decision to pursue better opportunities in life, and do that together in a new place.  I recently got a promotion that I interviewed for, and am finally moving up the ladder for the first time in my working life.  I'm still working on my binge eating, and I'm working on learning how to love myself.  I love working out, and I'm so incredibly happy to no longer have a goal that involves weight.  There will be no more obsessing over the scale, obsessing over calories, all while pretending that that's normal and/or healthy.  I believe that the choice to become a Beachbody Coach was one of the best things I could have done for myself, because I now have such an incredible team of supporters behind me any time I need them.

My future has parts that I can control, and parts that I can't.  Lately, I'm learning how to differentiate, and I'm going to try to accept and let go of the parts that I can't control.

There's so much learning, if you just open yourself up to the opportunity.  I have already wasted so much time unwilling to learn, but that door never closes.  That's something you can control.

Live with love.  That includes loving yourself.

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